VOICE

So, if anyone didn't already know, I auditioned for the voice this summer!  I told Rosalie I would blog about it... so I'm finally getting around to it (a month later).

My dad and I were watching the Voice season 1 and Carson Dayley says, "Do you think you have what it takes to be on the Voice?" and I said, "yes.." and then Carson told me to go online and sign up for an audition day.  So I looked at my dad and said, " I think I have what it takes."  and he says (basically), "I know you have what it takes.  You are beautiful, you have been taking lessons, you know all about that music stuff; the only thing standing in your way is you."

I think that is true in a lot of aspects in my life.  I always doubt myself and tell myself I can't do it.  If I never try then I can't fail.  But on the other side of that, if I never try I can never succeed.  One night when doing dishes with my dad he looked at me and said, "You could do a lot more if you would stop telling yourself you can't."  That's the theme for the year for me.  I CAN!  I can audition for a national singing competition and I can do my best there! 

When I checked online, the auditions were going to be in Tennessee the same weekend that I was already going to be about an hour from Nashville.  So I said... it is most definitely a sign that I need to do this!!  I made my musician profile and started preparing songs for my audition. I decided to sing Thunder Rolls and Almost Lover (click the links to hear the originals if you don't already know the songs).

My dad and stepmom rented a hotel that was a block away from the auditorium where the auditions would be held.  On the day of the audition I was so nervous!  But I kept singing to myself a line from eminem's "Lose Yourself."  It goes: "He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs." and that was my mantra.  I acknowledged the fact that I was nervous but decided that to do my best I needed to fake confidence until I felt it.  I decided that I wasn't going to let my nerves get in my way.  If I left the audition feeling like I had done my best, it wouldn't matter if it was a yes or no.

There were sooo many people there.  It was very calm though, not chaotic at all.  We waited in line outside until the doors opened then we were put into 8 lines.  They scanned our passes and then sent us to another line.  They took each line up to the seats where we sat and waited.  10 people were taken at a time to the audition room.  The audition room wasn't really a room at all, they had set up black cloth against the wall to make a little room.  When we walked into the room we all sat down.  The producers were super friendly.  We stood up one at a time and sang a verse and chorus from one of our songs.  I chose to sing "Almost Lover."  I got up and sang my heart out.  I did the best I could.  They told me, and the rest of my group, that I wasn't what they were looking for. 

And you know what, I do not feel any regret.  I am so glad that I auditioned.  It was such a great experience! 

been a long time since I rock and rolled

Okay.  Monday.  First day of school.  Piece. of. Cake.  really though.


6am: wake up to a text from my manager regarding my schedule for the week.  Not exactly what I wanted, but we worked it out and it should be good from here on out.
7am: bike to the gym to meet Amanda :)
7:30-8:20: run 4 miles.  that's right!  farthest I've ever ran in my LIFE!  I feel awesome!
8:30 get ready for class
9:15 done getting ready...  what the heck do I do for the next 45 minutes?  I run down to the SUB, see Jacob Diller there!  great reunion.  Pick up some text books and then head to the practice room for a quick warm up.
9:45 bike to the Library for my SPED class.  It's a distance learning class so we're basically skyping with a class from Twin.  It's pretty neat.
11:00 done with class....  2 hour lunch?  what?  decide to head to the FA to practice some more, run into Jacob Diller yet again!  I found out we're pretty  much neighbors and can have slumber parties! :)
12:00 lunch with Amanda.
1:00 choir for 20 minutes (just the beginning of year blah blah stuff)  (tangent:  Chamber auditions are on thursday!!! and there are like 10 sopranos auditioning.. that means 4 or more girls are going to be cut!!! o.O  scarrrrrrrry!)
1:30 bike home.

what a busy day huh?  haha yeah right!!  gonna be a great semester, but I'm sure I'll find something to stress out about! :)

L

Confidence

Confidence is not my thing.  Like, at all.

Last night, my dad said, "If you would quit telling yourself that you can't do things, you would be able to do a lot more."

I am a pretty positive person... unless I look at myself. 

I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not a good enough musician, I'm not a good enough cook, I'm not a good enough friend...  blah di blah.

I can do anything.  I can do everything! 

I believe in me.

untitled

I suck at blogging. 


The end.


<3

p.s. untitled is a lazy way of saying, "i'm not creative enough to think of something cool to call this shiiii" just sayin dude.

Why I HATE May 24

Today. SUCKED. 

To start things off, I couldn't wake up this morning and woke up 45 minutes late.  Luckily my dad loved me enough to poke his head in my room and wake me up before he left for work.  Got up. Got ready.  fine.

Jumped on the freeway to head to work.  Took the wrong dumb fork.  followed this new highway until I finally realized I was going the wrong direction!  luckily this highway took me back to Maumelle where I turned around and followed it back to work.  I only had 20 minutes to get there.  I sped and drove like a city girl and got there on time.

Work. Still in training.  It has been so slow paced that we spend half the day sitting around talking story (but hey, at least I'm getting paid to talk story).  Jimmy kid still seems a little too interested, but he's one of those weird kids that drinks, smokes, is socially awkward, and is a little bit nerdy.  I also overheard him talking about his girlfriend.. so he should probably calm down.

I also need a form of paper ID (birth cert., ss card, etc.), but of course, I didn't bring any with me from Idaho.  They need it by tomorrow morning or I'll get fired.  GREAT!  I thought bringing in a copy would work, so I had my mom scan in my birth certificate and email it to me.  Apparently my employers won't take a COPY... THEY are the ones that have to make the copy.  make sense to you?  doesn't make sense to me.  The receptionist (who won't let me talk to HR and insists on telling me she knows everything) told me That I could bring in paper work saying that I have applied for a replacement Social...

which leads me to the next fun adventure of the day.  Finding the Social Security Office.  I call my loving father to ask him to help me find the place (of COURSE I don't have the GPS... I left it in my step sisters' car and it's in Conway).  I write down directions and brave the roads of downtown Little Rock.  Of COURSE there's traffic, of COURSE there's road work.. making my drive and day that much more stressful!  I finally find the building (labeled "ONE FINANCIAL BUILDING."  I immediately have doubts.  I looked at the directory in the lobby... the suite number given to me by my father says "BLAHBLAH, BLAH attorney at law" ...... WHAT?!  so I spend the next hour in the 90 degree temperature trying to figure out where I need to go and if they'll even replace my card.  I was on the phone with my sister, my dad, and my step mom.  My step mom found the office that I need to go to and gave me the number.  I called it, they told me I had the wrong number and gave me the right one.  I called that one and was put on hold for...  10 minutes...  then I get a text from my step mom that says I need my birth certificate to get a social security card.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! 

So I decide to cry and go home.  I called Jimmy (my fiance not the work creep) and cried for 10 minutes while driving home.  after I got off the phone with him I tried to social security office one last time and the guy that answered told me "you only need a birth certificate if you've never had one before" .......  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!  I could have driven 10 minutes down the road from the financial building and had my stupid documentation right now. 

The new plan is to fill out the paper work this evening and take it in when their office opens at 8 and be to work by 9. 

EFF MAY 24.

and can i just say one last thing?  eff you MSI for not taking my stupid birth certificate copy.  you're a bad word that I will not say right now.  JERKS.

Arkansas - day 1

It's 4 pm. I'm sitting in the dining room at my dad's house. I just got home from my job interview. I'll be working 8 - 5 Monday through Friday-one Saturday a month.

Living in Arkansas is new to me. I'm used to only being here for a few weeks. This time, I'll be here for a few months. I wanted to do this so I could spend time with my dad. He's been in a different state since I was about 9.. so more than half my life I've only seen my dad a few weeks every year. It's been hard.. not having my dad there when I went to school dances or seeing him in the audience when I sang my solos.

I'm getting married next year. So this summer was my last chance to spend this time with my dad. My fiance has made it clear that he doesn't like my decision to live in Arkansas. He wanted me to come back before I even left. But we have our entire lives together; my dad and I will never live in the same state.. probably even after he retires.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me this summer. I have made a few summer resolutions including:

1- Get to know God a little bit better
2- Get to know myself
3- lose 10 to 15 pounds.
(before you say ANYTHING about my weight loss, I just want to get toned, the scale is just a way to measure it... I'm also keeping track of inches and BMI)
(also, don't say, "shut up lindsey! you are skinny! blahdiblah!" It doesn't matter how you perceive me, it's how I perceive me. If you have an issue with the way I see myself, keep it to yourself! and get your own butt into shape!! -end rant-)

I don't really have much else to say for now. I'm sure LOTS more will come later :)


keep me in your prayers and thoughts; I'll do the same for you!!


<3
lg

spring 2010

I'M FREAKING OUT MAN!!!!!  FUH-REAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I may lose my mind. just sayin.